Chapter 59

Tessa forced herself not to run and certainly not to cry. Dammit, she was so stupid. She’d known that the bubble had been too good to be true in Nashville. But nothing could have prepared her for the look on his face when his son had asked that question, or more importantly what he’d said.

He’d been divorced for nearly a year. It wasn’t like he was a hermit. For God’s sake he was a healthy and seriously attractive man, never mind the fact that he was a celebrity.

“Tessa! Oh Tessa!”

She groaned and turned with what she hoped was a nearly genuine smile, or a reasonable facsimile. “Hello, Mrs. Rothchild.”

“Could you be a dear and deal with the band’s manager. He’s having an issue with the contract. You’re so much better at dealing with those sorts of people.”

Tessa just blinked, “Those sorts of people?”

“Yes, the creative sort. I’m just beside myself trying to deal with them.” Her face was pinched with disdain.

Because the business end of a band contract was surely going to be an artistic issue. Why of course it was, she thought sourly. If she could have one wish, she’d be in a corner listening to her IPod until the bad people went away. Sweet George she just didn’t have the mental capacity for this today. Not now anyway.

“Yes, I’ll take care of things. Why don’t you find your husband and enjoy the festival. I think I saw the mayor near the Raffle booth.”

As if she’d waved a steak in front of a starving dog, Carol turned to the layout of booths set up along the side of the park. The mayor was the cream of the crop to a society hound like her. “Why yes, I think that would be a wonderful idea. I’m so glad I can count on you, Tessa.”

She just didn’t know why it was so difficult to stop herself from rolling her eyes. “Thank you Mrs. Rothchild.”

“Besides, it’s easier for you to do these things. You don’t have a romantic entanglement or family to worry about tonight.”

She said it so simply that Tessa wasn’t sure if it was a slap or Carol just being…Carol. Because she was already in a foul mood she took it as a slap and let her blood boil. It was a helluva lot easier to boil than to deal with the sick hurt in her stomach. “Isn’t it just,” she said almost pleasantly and turned on her heel.

Stalking toward the stage she barely managed a nod of hello to the dozen people that waved to her. She made sure to take the long way around to the back of the stage so she could walk off some of the mad before she dealt with Rob Marshall.

She spotted the little man with his short man’s complex at the base of the stairs. She hated dealing with him. His sister had such an awe inspiring talent, but absolutely no head for numbers or even the basic organizational skills to book a job. Unfortunately her little weasel of a brother was too good at it and let everyone know it.

Taking a deep breath she unclenched her fists and straightened her shoulders. “Hello, Rob. Carol Rothchild tells me there’s an issue with our contract?”

Rob turned and planted his hands on his hips. “Dayum, Tessa. You are looking seriously good tonight.”

“Cut the crap, Rob. You can flatter me all you like but you know, and I know, there’s no reason to pitch a fit about Jackie’s contract.”

“Hey! She’s working with limited resources here and I think she deserves some recompense for her outstanding job with such sub-standard equipment.”

“Sub-standard-“ She took another deep breath. “Look, I have it on good authority that the sound system we rented is top of the line for an outdoor show. Have you had any technical issues I should know about?”

Rob puffed up his chest. “We’ve had to remix soundcheck three times and –“

Tessa watched his eyes shift and cut him off. “You are full of it, Rob. Jackie’s been singing like an angel for the last hour without even a hint of feedback. You were paid handsomely for this show and Jackie’s name will get out to the public because of this little performance.” She saw him open his mouth to make another point and she kept talking, “Not to mention the flyers I allowed you to hand out near the ticket booths for extra PR.”

“Aww, C’mon Tessa its Christmas,” he whined.

“Yes, it is Christmas so you shouldn’t be trying to bleed a Holiday Festival.” You little worm. She wanted to say it to his face, but Jackie Marshall was one of the most promising singers in the area and she wanted to be able to use her again for future concerts.

“Look, I’m not trying to be a hard-“ she broke off dragging her more crude response back in and began again. “I love Jackie and I think we were more than fair with you guys for this show. I talked to Carol about the set up for your equipment and the borrowed,” she waved her hands at the underbelly of the stage where speakers, amps and other myriad of electronic things lay. “Things and made sure that everything was as perfect as possible. Please don’t let me regret giving Jackie this opportunity.”

Rob’s mouth opened and closed like a guppy at the mention of Carol’s name and for the first time Tessa was happy that she could use her name for something other than inventive swearing. “You’re right, Tessa. Nothing’s wrong with the contract. You have a Merry Christmas, okay?”

Relief brought her blood down to a simmer. “Feel free to hit the food stands when you guys are done. Just tell them Tessa said to take care of you.”

Rob’s face brightened. “Thanks, Tessa!”

Again, fighting the need to roll her eyes, she raised an eyebrow at him instead. Men could be so easily bought with food. “Merry Christmas. I’ll be back around nine to talk to your sister.”

“Hey, you won’t say anything to her, right?” Rob asked nervously.

Drawing in growl that threatened she bent her lips into what she hoped was a smile. “I’ll see you in about an hour.” Rounding to the back of the stage she leaned a shoulder on the lattice work and tugged off her gloves to trace a fingertip over each eyebrow slowly. She was pretty sure it was the only thing that would keep her throbbing eyes in their sockets.

“Remind me never to argue a contract with you. In fact, if you’ve got a hankering to get into the corporate end of the music business I think I might have a job for you.”

She felt the throb turn to a dull ache as she opened her eyes and saw him. Classy Rock Star oozed from him even here in this simple setting. He was layered with what could only be cashmere over cotton in grey and white, and then he paired that with a beat up denim shirt teasing his equally battered jeans. A charcoal coat lay open with more cashmere dangling from his neck in a bright red.

The fact that he looked so good only made her mood darken. “What are you doing back here? Someone might see us together.” She looked around stuffing her hands back into her gloves. “Oh wait, we’re hidden as usual.”

The teasing glint hardened to ice. “Hey, that’s not fair.”

She stood upright, “Hell it isn’t! You made me feel like an idiot.” She turned and headed out into the crowd of people.

“Tessa! Wait!”

He made a grab for her arm but she yanked it away. “Back off, I’m not done being mad at you yet.” Her eyes met his icy control and she watched him close off and thought she’d simply break in two right then.

“Fine,” he said in a very low voice and she watched his wool covered shoulders walk away from her.

“Shit! Shit!” she whispered angrily and pushed her way through the people huddled beneath the brightly lit overhang. Jackie Marshall sang one of her own songs about true love and the taste of forever.

Horrified that she felt tears prickling and that one escaped, she covered her mouth with the thick wool of her glove and stifled back a sob. She headed for the lonely swings on the outskirts of the fair and took solace in the shadows.

Sucking back the sob that still sat in her throat she wrapped her fingers around the chain and slowly pushed herself into a light sway. Jesus, what was she doing? Did she really have any right to get angry about any of it? They’d never discussed talking to his kids or how they would react in public.

Could she blame him for keeping it from Jake? If she was a mother, she’d be just as protective of her children. Perhaps more even. She shut her eyes against the twinkling lights and the laughter that escaped the fair.

She felt the buzz of her phone along her back and flipped it around to dig it out of her purse. Seeing the name on the plate she flipped it open. “Hey,” she said, proud that her voice sounded pretty close to normal.

“Where the heck are you? I saw you near the concert then you were gone.”

“I’m over by the swings.”

“What the hell are you-“ she stopped and Tessa could practically see the light bulb going off over her head. “I’ll be right there.”

She dropped the phone back in her purse and continued to swing. She certainly didn’t deserve the dose of best friend that was heading her way. Not after she’d kept everything to herself about Jon and their last few days.

And really, just how different was that to what he’d been doing? Everything was so confusing and new. Reality didn’t quite fit with the little bubble they’d created. How did you explain this kind of thing to friends? And family? She didn’t have any to speak of, but it had to be a pretty big deal to bring a woman into his life with the kids.

Nichole didn’t say a word when she made her way over to the swings, just settled herself on the swing next to her and they swayed until they were both in tandem.

“I fucked up,” Tessa said finally.

“About which part?”

She laughed. “All of it. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you anything, but it’s just so…much. I don’t even know how to put things into words. He’s got me all messed up.”

“That’s not like you Tess.”

Her head fell back and she groaned. “I know. See what I’m saying? I can’t even think like a rational person when I talk about him.”

“Well, he is Jon Bon Jovi.”

“See, that doesn’t even matter now. It’s the man that has me all jumbled up. If it was just the rock star I could deal with that and get over it. It’s the man that touches me and it’s the man that makes me insane.”

“What happened to get you all upset?”

“I just saw him and it was the first time we’d been in public together. I mean really in public and it was weird.”

Nic slowed her swing and turned toward her. “Well, you had to know that it would be.”

She pressed her cheek against the cool chain and sniffed. “I know, but I guess I didn’t think he’d deny I was…well, anything, not even a friend.”

“He what?”

She winced. “I know, it sounds awful, doesn’t it? He was with Jakey.”

Nic punched her in the arm. “Stupid, of course he’s going to lie to his kid.”

“Ow! Why? He couldn’t even say I was a friend? C’mon.”

“C’mon, how many times have you told me that he’s way over-protective of those kids? I bet he hasn’t even figured out how to tell them he’s seeing someone, let alone in love with someone that’s not their mother.”

Tessa stopped swinging now. Could it really be that simple? And could she be that monumentally stupid? He couldn’t just think about her feelings, or even his own. There were four kids to consider. “Shit,” she whispered.

Nic just laughed. “Girl, you’ve got it bad.”

She shot her a miserable look. “I haven’t had any sleep either. God, I feel so dumb. He’s going to think I’m a complete moron.”

“If you don’t tell me what’s going on, I’m going to get violent.”

“Tell you what? I did…we had a fight.”

“Not that, you twit. What happened those two days you were with him?”

She blushed hot. God even in the shadows Nic had to see it. “Uhh…what do you mean?”

“I mean details. The dirty ones.”

Tessa laughed for the first time in the last hour. “I can’t tell you all of that.”

“Oh yes you can and you better. I’m an old married woman and I’m living vicariously through you.”

“Old married my ass, you and Adam are just like newlyweds with all the sex going on in that house. Christ, you barely waited for me to leave that night we did the tree.”

Nic started swinging again. “Okay, so that’s a lie but c’mon it’s him!! It’s gotta be better right? Please tell me that I’m right, because seriously what a downer if he’s not a rock star in bed too.”

“Oh my God, you are so bad!”

“No, but I want to know if you were.”

The smile that spread told volumes. “Well, maybe a little bad. And he was just…well, he was all good and then some.”

Nic grabbed the chain and dragged her over until they were nose to nose. “You need to tell me!”

“It was nice.”

“Nice?”

“Better than nice…mind numbing, and completely indescribable. The man can do things with his mouth that I could only read about in the erotica section.”

Nic let her go. “Dammit, I don’t know what’s worse…not knowing or getting that kind of stupid smile on your face with limited deets.”

She just smiled and continued to swing.