Chapter 122

Jon stretched, scratching his belly as he arched his back letting a jaw popping yawn out. They’d only been in the studio for a few hours but he’d spent every one of them crouched over the control board that took up most of the front of the studio.

Glancing over his shoulder he saw David patiently explaining to Tessa how he took all the bits of guitar, vocals, piano, bass and drums and merged them. He’d always been the unsung hero of the band. He truly was a wizard when it came to starting with a whole lot of good parts and making them great. It never ceased to amaze him how Dave processed information, but he was grateful for it. He was also one of the main reasons Bon Jovi had moved forward into the digital age. That boy did like his toys.

Tessa looked up, her eyes still excited as she listened and met Jon’s gaze. She flashed him a brilliant smile leaving him little doubt that he’d made the right choice. He was used to keeping this part of him apart from his relationships. The kids didn’t really care and Dot had been less than interested in this end of his life.

“Hey, you ready to do some vocals?” Richie asked. “I’d like to redo some of the harmonies on One Step Closer.”

Thankful that he’d brought it up instead of him, he turned toward Richie. The song had gone from desolate to hopeful in the end after some wrangling, but it still seemed like it needed more. “Yeah, sounds good.” He fussed with settings and motioned for their producer, John Shanks to cue up the song. John was proving to be an undeniable asset when it came to getting this album together.

“Tessa’s enjoying herself,” Richie said conversationally as they headed into the back of the studio.

“Yeah, I didn’t think you guys would mind.”

“Hey what’s one more crazy person in the studio with us?” Richie glanced back. “At least she’s pretty.”

Jon followed his gaze, watching the way her jeans hugged the slim line of Tessa’s hips. She was curled into one of the side club chairs stashed in David’s corner of the world an oversized green sweater showing off one creamy shoulder. “What? First you call my girlfriend crazy and now you wanna go hit on her?”

Richie’s dimple flashed. “Hey, I’d be happy to take her off your ungrateful hands. I’d treat her like a queen, crazy or not.” He played with his Adam’s apple for a moment. “Mom’d love her.”

Seeing the smirk Jon took the teasing in stride. For a moment, the thought of her with another man had the breath backing up in his chest. What the hell was up with him and the anxiety lately? Had the lyrics really affected him so thoroughly or was it something else? Glancing over his notes he heard the melody in his head and pushed the paranoia aside. It had no place in the studio.

After a few tries they were finally happy with the end product and headed back to the board. After a bit of layering and fussing he played the song, letting the notes bleed into the control room and swell through the room.

Interested in initial reactions, he glanced at Tessa watching her head come up and if he didn’t know better he’d have sworn her ears literally perked up. She closed her eyes and actively listened. It was rare for someone to do it outside of the music world but she really had turned everything off to listen.

He was interested in how a fan would take the decidedly country flavor to the song. How handy that he happened to have a fan in the room. As the last of the notes hummed over the speakers her eyes opened. Tears spiked her lashes and she cleared her throat looking down at her hands before finally meeting his eyes.

He rarely cared what anyone thought about his work besides the band so he was surprised when he let out a breath he hadn’t been aware of holding.

Richie seemed to enjoy the reaction, stopping by to brush her cheek with a quick kiss. “Thanks, darlin’. That was the reaction I was after.” He looked over his shoulder. “Jon, I’m going to take a quick walk around. I’ll be back in a bit.”

Tessa gave him a quick squeeze on the hand as he ducked out the side doors. The room cleared out as if on cue and Jon rolled his eyes. “I didn’t plan that, I swear.”

She gave a watery laugh. “You guys know each other so well you don’t even need to speak for God’s sake.” She rounded Dave’s equipment and stepped into his arms. “It really was beautiful,” she said against his chest.

He sifted his fingers into her hair, the silky strands twined around his fingers inviting him to lean in. Taking a nice deep breath of pears and woman he took a moment to let the words sink in. He’d been distancing himself from the music since the day before. As much as he loved the work they were doing, he wasn’t sure he liked the whole sharing thing. It was obvious what the words meant and he couldn’t hide them behind Tommy and Gina this time.

This wasn’t the everyman song, this was their songs with their pain. There wasn’t a veil opaque enough to hide behind for this album. Watching Tessa’s reaction brought it back to the front again. She loved him, but there’d been no quick gush of reaction, just the way she needed to pull herself together, which said more than anything else could. The tape looped again and he sighed. “It still needs something else,” he muttered against her hair.

“Ever the perfectionist.”

“My best and worst traits, darlin’.”

She snorted against his chest, a light puff of warm air. “Well, I like those rough b-sides you probably cringe over.”

“I can only imagine,” he groaned. “You love…wait, let me guess. Let’s Make It Baby?”

She rolled her face into the center of his chest. “Let’s just say it pales in comparison to the sounds you really make. It’s lost some of its gloss,” she said into his T-shirt.

Stepping back he laughed and leaned down. The lightened mood was welcome and her obvious embarrassment was too easy to pick at. “Are you knockin’ my acting skills?” His lips were a breath away from hers.

She wound her arms around his neck. “Nooooo,” she said gravely. “I found every gasp, groan and sigh nearly believable.”

He closed his eyes at the light brush of her fingertips at the nape of his neck and let himself fall into the light kiss. Just a touch and a sigh of lips, nothing hurried and nothing leading. Just enjoying the taste of her for a moment, soaking in some of that emotion she couldn’t help but share when she heard his music. When he heard the nearly toneless groan rumble in her throat he deepened the kiss. Letting up almost immediately as it wasn’t the time or the place to lose himself in her taste.

She scraped her teeth over his bottom lip before she broke the kiss. “Is it very bad of me to say that I was completely turned on when you were singing with Richie? David had to repeat himself a half a dozen times. I kept hearing you do the same lines over and over again, getting lower and raspier.”

He watched her green eyes darken as she nibbled on her own bottom lip now. “Well, I know a quick way to get you naked now don’t I?”

Stepping back she pinched his ass. “Yeah well, you had me naked this morning and so didn’t want me.” Tessa turned back to the equipment that littered the room, smoothing her fingertips over the sleek surfaces.

“Man, I’m just never going to live that down am I?”

She grinned as Richie and Tico came back in laughing. “Nope.”

“What’d we miss?” Richie asked.

Tessa’s eyebrow quirked with Jon’s quick, “Nothing,” and her evil little laugh settled low in his gut. He’d have to turn that around later.

``

Tessa drew her feet up into the comfy chair she’d commandeered after lunch. Maybe if she held her knees into her chest she wouldn’t explode. Good lord, they brought in the most amazingly fattening foods to lunch on. Today’s spread had been Mexican. Really good, really bad for you Mexican.

She peered over at Jon working with their producer. You know you love a man if you’re willing to eat gaseous foods in front of him. Good thing there was a side door if she needed to make a quick getaway.

She was glad Jon had finally stopped watching her though. She could feel his gaze like a touch, but it was the disconcerting kind that stirred the air. It wasn’t sexual in any way, more like he was trying to figure her out. She’d known he would be a little self-conscious with her in the studio but she didn’t expect to be looked at like a puzzle.

They’d all made her feel very welcome and after only a little prompting she’d gone into crazy question mode. David and Richie seemed to be the most open to her questions, excited to give up info and filling her head with a technical language that boggled the mind. Jon, on the other hand, was withdrawn. If she could see inside his head, she was certain there would be a network of cogs spinning constantly. She wasn’t sure what he was thinking or how he was processing but he was definitely trying to figure something out. He and Shank’s heads were together murmuring about God knew what. One thing was for sure, his focus was absolute since they’d come back from break.

She’d taken a chair out of way to see if they’d forget about her. This was the part she wanted to see. Indulging her questions had been fun and thrilling, but her fan heart wanted to know how the songs were built. Watching Richie sort out which guitar he wanted to use with a clunky pair of headphones as Tico and Hugh threw down bass tracks. David at the piano with his ever present Pro-Tools had her techie heart itching to watch over his shoulder.

In the middle of it all they seemed to have their own language. Just a look or a gesture meant things she’d never understand. She nibbled on the corner of her thumb as Jon’s eyes got squinty with concentration. The other John was quiet as he listened and her Jon stood, annoyance vibrated off of him as he listened to the first take of the next song they were working on.

Hearing the quick pop of knuckles and squeak of chair as he dropped back and listened to the song again had her own fingers gripping her thighs. The song was good, the lyrics were haunting. According to David, it would be the first time they’d actually worked on Memory.

Jon’s voice was different. Even to her untrained ears it was a lower register, smoky and simple with a hum that reached low into your gut. The crinkle of paper drew her out of the song and Jon’s quick click of boots echoed off the floor as he passed her. Surprised that she didn’t even get a nod of hello she twisted in her seat.

He’d moved back into the booth, his hair everywhere with the number of times his headphones had gone off and on, he raked it back ruthlessly and fit the large ear foams over his ears. A few bits of practice and he smoothed the papers onto the stand making a notation on the paper with a jerk of pencil.

A frustrated bark of orders filled the room as he took a deep breath. He started off with a whispery quality.

Hello again, it’s you and me
Kinda always like it used to be
Sippin' wine, killing time
Trying to solve life’s mysteries.
How’s your life, it’s been a while
God it’s good to see you smile
I see you reaching for your keys
Looking for a reason not to leave.

She watched his shoulders relax and his fingers uncurl as the song blew through the room. It was gentle without the background music. Just Jon’s voice and all this emotion driving through it could be heard through the quiet studio. And as he entered the next part of the song, his voice changed. The sincerity there in the first part slacked off.

He held up hand. “Back it up, let’s go from the bridge.”

She listened as Richie and David murmured and stepped outside. The frustration level in Jon’s voice was apparent. Having people watch him wouldn’t help, but she couldn’t tear her eyes from him.

He drew his forefinger and thumb up to the bridge of his nose and pinched. Starting again, he stopped. He shouted out a few orders and then suddenly stopped as John talked over him. She didn’t understand what they were talking about but timing and a bunch of letters scrambled through the booth as they discussed range and how to redo the part Jon was struggling through.

Shanks fussed with the board and she watched Jon physically ease, his posture back and his chin up as he started from the beginning once more.

“Ease into it, Jonny,” came the soft command as the bridge started.

If you don’t know if you should stay
If you don’t say what’s on your mind
Baby just, breathe there’s no where else tonight we should be-