Chapter 136

“Daddy.”

Jon turned away from the French doors in the kitchen. “Hey, Steph.” He nodded to his son. “Jess.”

Jesse looked away from him, sitting down sullenly.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to get over—“

“Dad! What happened to your hand?” Steph rounded the table, her long fingers cupping the garish green cast.

“Hey, I’m okay.” Embarrassed, but not willing to lie about it he sighed. “Some stuff has been happening and I did a lot of stupid things these past few days.” He rubbed his thumb and forefinger over his eyelids. God, he was so tired of lying.

Stephanie took his cast and gently guided him to the table. “Just talk to us Dad, we’re not kids.”

He met Dorothea’s eyes, looking away when she stared at the table. Guess there wasn’t going to be much help in that corner. “Well, you guys are still kids. Ah,” he held up his good hand when his daughter opened her mouth to argue. “You are, but at the same time you are old enough to know what’s going on.”

“Too late for that,” Jesse muttered.

“What have you heard?” Jon asked.

“That you knocked up your girlfriend.”

“Jesse!” Dot reprimanded.

“No.” He glanced at Dot then back to his son. “It’s all right. What else?”

“There’s been stuff on TV, but they keep changing their story.” Jesse scraped his thumbnail over the glossy polish of the pine table. He was quiet for a moment, then looked up through overgrown bangs. “Are you replacing us, Dad?”

“God, no.” Jon stood up and rounded the table, crouching next to his oldest son, clasping his good hand on his shoulder. “I could never replace you guys.”

Jesse turned toward him. “Then why don’t we know about this girl? Why is she a secret?”

Jon’s head tipped down. He’d made so many mistakes in the last few months. He’d wanted to protect his family so badly that he’d only made things worse. He lifted his eyes, meeting his son’s identical blue. “I wanted to make sure it was something worth sharing before I—“

“It was me, Jesse. I wanted him to wait.”

Jon shot a startled glance at Dorothea. “Dot—“

“No, I can take some blame here too, Jon. We made the decision together. But I wanted to hold out longer. I’m sorry Jesse. Your Dad wanted to introduce his new,” Dorothea cleared her throat, “girlfriend to you guys a few weeks ago.”

Surprised that she was willing to take any sort of blame, Jon sat back on his heels. “I didn’t want you to be like the rest of your friends that you talk about sometimes,” Jon said softly.

“Like Rebecca’s mom with her crazy list of uncles?” Steph said with air quotes around the word uncle.

Jon stood, with a wince. “Man, that’s one way to put it.” He laughed, his kid was as blunt as he was sometimes. He sat down. “Okay, regardless of what you’ve heard about us I’m going to tell you the real deal.”

“No secrets, Dad.”

He nodded at Steph. “No secrets.” He took a deep breath. “It’s Tessa. The woman I’m seeing is Tessa from the bookstore.”

Jesse rolled his eyes. “No duh, Dad.”

Jon couldn’t help the smirk. “Can’t get anything past you, huh?”

“At least she’s hot,” Jesse’s eyes widened. “Uh, sorry, Mom.”

Dorothea shot her son a look but said nothing.

“Well, I’ve been seeing Tessa for a few months. And when the time was right I was going to introduce all of you to her.”

“When was that going to be?” Steph asked.

Jon looked at her, there was no censure in her face right then, just honest curiosity. “Your mom and I…to be honest,” he glanced at Dot’s stony face, “couldn’t quite agree on when it should be.” He folded his hand over Steph’s. “But Tessa’s important to me. I want you guys to know that.”

Steph nodded. “I get it. She’s not just some chick. I just don’t get why it took so long to tell us.”

“Life started getting crazy and I…” he trailed off. Richie’s words screaming in his head. He’d been afraid. As much as he wanted to share Tessa with his other world, he got used to keeping them separate. Maybe he even liked it. “I was selfish. It’s not right, but it’s the truth. I liked keeping her to myself. I liked keeping things simple.”

Jesse frowned, but Steph shrugged. “I get it.”

Jesse turned his frown onto his sister. “Good thing you do, I don’t.”

Steph gave him a disgusted sigh. “You know when you and Becky Scarpetti started hanging out last summer?”

Jesse blushed deep red, “Yeah.”

Jon’s eyebrow quirked as he looked at Dot who’s only answer was a wrinkled nose. Fat lot of help that was. Who the hell was Becky Scarpetti?

“Well, you didn’t bring her to the house, did you?”

“No, I knew Mom and Dad would freak out and ask a zillion—Oh.”

“Bingo!” Steph thwacked him on the back of the head. “I knew you were only half stupid.”

“Hey!” Dot and Jon said in unison.

“What? I can call my brother stupid, just no one else can.” Steph said and folded her arms over her chest. “So that’s why,” she said to Jesse.

“Okay, so I get that part. What’s up with the baby drama in the news, Dad? We totally look like the Osbornes with that.”

Jon winced. “My business is not the papparazzi’s business, you know that.”

“Good luck with that,” Steph shot back.

Sighing, Jon sat back in his chair. “It’s not like I’m going to be making a press conference about this, but you guys will know the truth.”

“Hallelujah.”

“Watch it, Steph.”

Instantly contrite, she folded her hands on the table. “Sorry, Dad.”

“Tessa had an accident at her store, she…“ he swallowed, slamming his eyes shut as the scene that haunted him flashed yet again. If only he’d been a little quicker, a little less—Enough. “She did end up being pregnant. We didn’t know. It was a—“

“Didn’t you use a condom, Dad?”

Man, outta the mouths of babes. Jon looked up at his son. “Yes, Jesse, I did. We were careful, but just like they tell you in school and I’ve told you...Nothing’s one hundred percent.” Especially when you’re stupid in lust. “During the accident, something happened to the, uh…” his voice went rough. He knew this was going to be hard, but to tell your kids when you weren’t even used to saying it out loud? He cleared his throat. “We lost the baby. There is no baby. Not anymore.” The last few words came out in a whisper. He cleared his throat again, staring as the table shimmered then turned solid again.

He looked up in time to catch his daughter in a fierce hug. “Oh, baby.” He swallowed back his own tears as his daughter sniffled into his shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Daddy. We didn’t know. Is Tessa okay?” she asked, her cheek pressed into his chest.

“I don’t know, honey. She’s physically getting better, but It’s hard news to take. We’re just going to have to take it a day at a time.”

“I’m sorry, Dad. I’d like to meet her though. Can we?” Jesse smiled a little. “You know, when she’s better?”

Jon smoothed his hand through his daughter’s hair and nodded at his son. “I’d like that.”

Steph leaned back. “Me too, Dad.”

Jon smiled. “I think it’s way past time,” He said to Dorothea.

She didn’t say anything, just looked away from him and stood. “Why don’t you guys go upstairs? I need to talk to your Dad.”

Steph stood up, rubbed his shoulder and left without a word.

Jesse stood up. “I’m glad you told us, Dad. Tell Tessa we’re thinking about her, okay?”

Jon swallowed down the next lump of emotion. “You’re a good kid, Jess.”

“Yeah, remember that when I ask you for a new controller for Time Crisis,” he said and grinned.

“Get outta here!” Jon said with a welcome laugh. He pulled his phone out and shot a quick text to Richie for a pickup.

“Bye, Dad.” Jesse avoided his mom’s eyes and headed back upstairs with less than quiet feet.

“Still sounds like a herd of elephants,” Jon said with a half grin.

“Yeah well, I’m kinda glad he hasn’t learned to walk softly yet. Means he doesn’t know how to be sneaky yet.”

“Operative word being, yet.”

Dorothea’s face was serious as she ignored his little joke. “Jon, I understand you want your kids to meet Tessa, but—“

“God, not this again!” Jon stood up and swung open the back door, digging for his smokes.

She followed him outside, unearthing her own pack of dented cigarettes. “Jon, this isn’t about us or the kids right now. This is about Tessa. As a woman, I think it might be hard to see your kids right now…when she lost one. I know it would be for me.”

Jon frowned, sucking back a lungful of smoke. He tucked the cigarette into his still numb fingers in his cast and scrubbed his face with his good hand. He hadn’t thought about that. Transferring the cigarette back to his good hand, he took another drag. “I hadn’t thought…” he blew out a stream of smoke. “You’re right. I’ll wait until she’s feeling better before I broach the subject again.”

“I know you aren’t really good at the whole patience thing, Jon.” She lifted her cigarette, tucking a hand under her elbow as it smoldered. “But this is the kind of thing that’s going to be hard for her to deal with beyond the hospital stuff. Pregnancy hormones are going to be flying all over the place with the sad. Just remember that.”

Jon glanced down at his ex-wife. “Why are you telling me all this?”

She laughed, but there was no warmth in the sound. “I still love you, old man. Even if we aren’t meant to be anymore.” She didn’t look at him, just out at her wide expanse of yard.

Jon wrapped his good arm around her shoulders. “I still love you too, Dots.”

She dropped her head lightly on his shoulder. “Go on, now. I know you want to see her. You can’t stop fidgeting.”

He laughed and bussed her cheek. “I’ll call when I can.” He slid away, tucking his cigarette butt into the pail of sand outside the door, opening the door.

“Jon!”

He stopped, turning back to face her. “Yeah?”

Her arms were tightly folded against her chest. “I’m sorry it happened. I wouldn’t wish that on any woman.”

“I know, Dot.” He turned to go but she called his name again. He held onto the doorjamb but didn’t turn around.

“It’s not your fault.”

His heart stopped as his vision blurred.

“I know you Jon. You take all the world’s problems on your shoulders. Especially when you love someone. This wasn’t anyone’s fault. The quicker you realize it, the quicker you can get through it.”

He couldn’t say anything, just nodded and headed through the house and back through the front door to wait outside. Too bad it was all his fault, no matter what she said.