Chapter 150

Mid July 2007

Tessa lifted her face to the breeze off the ocean. She licked a circuit around her Espresso Roast flavored ice cream cone. It had become a daily routine to walk to the Skipper Dipper. She was slowly making her way through their flavored soft ice cream list. Today’s selection was one of the best—could be the coffee flavor thing, though.

Bay Village was hopping as always. It was a tiny little bayside town that lived off the foot traffic from the rental properties that made up the majority of the Long Beach Island coast. There was a fair amount of cars, but bicycles seemed to be the favored form of travel with the odd skater here and there.

Instead of heading back to the shops along LBI Blvd, she wanted her feet in the sand again. The beaches out this way were public, but she preferred that walk back to the Bouchet summer house. Not to mention that she needed to be around people a little bit, even if they didn’t talk to her—which she preferred.

She’d been in her own head way too much lately. People watching made her feel a little less lonely sometimes. She wasn’t really fit for people, but if she exhausted herself walking around the village, sometimes she could even get some sleep. And on the really good nights, the dreams stayed away too.

She smiled at a fat and sassy baby that wasn’t quite at the walking stage. She was having a blast flinging sand into her daddy’s face. His eyes crinkled in the corners as he rolled the little girl onto his chest, lifting her into the sky, more sand flying as her laughter caused a ripple of her own.

The bright blonde of his hair flashed another face into her memory. The crinkles on that face were more defined and held a twinkle that skipped through her heart like adrenaline. The smile faded from her face, pushing her back to the water’s edge. She’d gone a whole day not thinking of him and just like that…he was back.

At least she hadn’t dreamed of him for the last two nights. Of course dreaming would require sleeping. No matter how many miles she walked on the beach, she couldn’t find a way to get herself tired enough lately. Biting into the waffle cone, she broke off a piece and flung it up to the gulls overhead. The more enterprising of the greedy birds snatched it from the air and glided to the beach.

Each day got a little easier to breathe. She’d hoped to find peace at Mary and Tom’s place, but the minute she’d stepped out of her old truck, she’d known it was the beach she’d been looking for. She’d never really taken the time to go on a vacation and her scholarly parents certainly hadn’t been the type to bring the family to the shore for vacation. She was fascinated with the waves and the push and pull of the ocean.

The public beach thinned out until she crossed over to the private beaches where the timeshare stood. The bright white and yellow beach house butted against the beach with a wide, flat set of stairs that led right into the back of the house.

The mix of vacation homes and all year round home owners dotted the shoreline with weather beaten greys, whites and blues. The houses ranged from tiny bungalows to three story seaside palaces. The Bouchet house came into view—two stories and three porches. Her favorite spot was the very top lookout. She couldn’t wait to curl into her bench-style Adirondack chair and watch the tide come in.

The house next to her was a rental. She smiled and waved at the new family trudging up the walkway with bags full to bursting and coolers weighing down tired shoulders. They’d learn—as the others did—what to bring down and what to leave behind. As usual, the mother was harried and the father was sunburned—his corporate skin unused to the beachy sun, poor muffin.

A man stood on the beach near her house, feet splayed in the sand. It looked like the family had a visitor. A gauzy white shirt fluttered in the breeze, his royal blue swim trunks hung well past his knees and sunglasses perched at the end of his nose. This was no pale skinned suit in vacation clothes. His skin was already bronze with sun, a silver and twine bracelet glinted off his wide wrist. Wild blonde hair blew around an angular face.

She shook her head, tugging the zippered ends of her hoodie over her suddenly chilled belly. God, she really needed to get more than a handful of hours sleep tonight. So what if her dreams were usually of him. If she was starting to see him on the beach, well…any of the progress she’d made was all but gone.

Dropping her flips on the sandy stairs she turned on the tap to get most of the grit off her toes. The wind kicked up, the ocean roared, letting her know the tide was on its way in. She turned back, watching the spray of the foam off the rocks.

“Tessa.”

Her belly lurched. “Oh God, you are going nuts.” The ocean was saying her name now? In his soft, sin soaked sheets voice no less. Well, it was only a matter of time before the madness set in. She’d been at this house alone for weeks now. Checking in with Nic eased the guilties, but she kept those conversations short.

“Tessa.”

The voice was closer now, her eyes swung to the left and the man from the beach came closer. His shirt was wide open, defined pectoral muscles shifted under silver tinged dark hair. “No,” she whispered. She had to be seeing things.

He couldn’t be here—not here in her little slice of solitude. The achingly familiar line of his collarbone came into focus, then his jawline and stubble dotted chin.

Afraid to look up any further, she closed her eyes. “You’re not real.”

She jolted as a hand touched her face. Fingers teased the ends of her hair, tugging gently before cupping her face. The tear leaked free before she could stop it, burning down her wind whipped cheek. The thumb that brushed it away was beyond gentle. Sun and ocean and that elusive male scent swirled around her. When another tear tracked the first, she pulled back.

“Tessa.”

She opened her eyes and he was there in front of her. His fingers curled into fists at his sides. His eyes were shaded by amber lenses, but the stark pain was there. Dusky blue eyes blazed down at her, his jaw clicked as his teeth ground together.

Insistent.

Real.

Jon.

She dashed away the stupid tears that had fallen. She’d had a handle on them, but just her name on his lips and she could feel the flood right there waiting. She closed the ends of her sweatshirt and folded her arms over her chest. The teeth of the zipper bit into her palms when she finally met his gaze. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here for you.”

The wind picked up, batting her hair against her face and into her eyes. Surely she hadn’t heard that right. She pushed it away and tucked it around her ear only to have it fly around her face again.

His lifted his hands, pushing her hair away for her, cupping her face to hold her still. There was gentleness in his touch, but there was no denying the stony set of his jaw, the sureness in his eyes and the absolute authority in his voice. “We’re going to talk if I have to tie you down.”

She stiffened, trying to pull back, but his hold was absolute. “We’ve discussed this and we decided it was better to end things.”

“We didn’t discuss anything. You made the decision, I’m here to negotiate.”

His voice still had that sexy timber, even as his words brooked no argument. She pressed her palm into his sun baked chest and pushed, but it was like trying to move granite. His chest and belly tightened as his feet widened for better stability. “Let me go.” Her heart tripped, slamming against her breast bone.

His eyes met hers. “I can’t.”

“There’s no negotiating, Jon. I’m not a deal to be made, or a friggin’ football team you can buy.” She struggled to get free and he let her go, only to slide his hand into her hoodie, gripping her hip with one hand and the back of her neck with the other.

The heat of his hand on the skin of her waist and back was as effective as a brand. She felt it everywhere and the warmth radiated until she could feel it her bones. It took everything inside of her not to sway into him and hold on tight. It would be so easy to melt into him again, to fall into old patterns.

“Then I’m starting over, because I’m not leaving here until we talk this out. I love you too much to let you go.”