Chapter 77

Tessa rolled over as something crashed downstairs. When the second thud resulted in a little girl’s squall of distress she flipped the sheet over her face and tugged the pillow around her ears.

She’d slept like crap. Even the sweet smell of fresh sheets and a quiet room hadn’t been enough to let her sleep last night. Jon’s reassuring words had been perfect in theory but the double meaning was pretty obvious in the end.

She couldn’t…wouldn’t compete with his kids. But she also couldn’t stay in hiding. Not when it was making her so miserable. But then he’d touch her, kiss her, talk to her and she was toast. She was becoming one of those women that couldn’t live without a man.

This man.

Flipping down the sheet she blew her bangs out of her eyes and crawled out of bed. No sense feeling sorry for herself. It was Christmas for God’s sake. She had tons to be thankful for. He was just a man.

She clipped her hair up and tugged on Jeans and a sweater, tossing Jon’s shirt back in her bag. Disgusted with herself that she’d slept in it, she tugged on a pair of socks.

Heading downstairs, following the noise and the smell of coffee she made her way into the kitchen. She brushed her fingers over Sophie’s downy hair on her way by the high chair and bumped her hip into Nic’s. “Mornin’.”

“Well it’s about time you woke up. The kids have demolished the presents already.”

“You should have woken me.” She poured a heavy mug full of coffee and dumped half n’ half in with only a little guilt. She leaned back on the counter and watched as Tyler zoomed around the room with a radio controlled car and a demonic gleam in his eyes.

“Oh honey, you needed the sleep.”

Trying to cover up a snort with a sip of coffee she took a big gulp.

“And if you think I didn’t catch that, you are stupid as well as lovesick.” Nic walked out of the room and into the family room.

Sucking back a sigh she smiled her way into the melee. She helped pass out gifts for the adults and was pleasantly surprised to find a pretty good pile for herself when she sat down.

When Nic opened up one of her presents to a squeal and a launch at her husband Tessa folded another sweater against herself. This was the kind of gift you got for relatives.

The pretty chain with a lovely little bit of fire on the end was what you got someone you loved. Nic had been staring at the solitaire diamonds in every shop window for well over a year and Adam had finally saved enough on his teaching salary at the college to be able to afford it.

She neatly folded the pretty sage sweater into the box and gathered the wrapping paper until the room was nice and tidy again. All the family chatter was broken only by the sweet squeals of Sophie’s laughter. Which only intensified the chatter again and that normally made her feel like she belonged. But this year she just felt so out of place.

She dragged the bag into the kitchen where a matching black bag full of the kid’s wrap from the morning sat next to the door.

“Tessa?”

“Hmm?” she turned and smiled at Mary. “You guys outdid yourself as always.”

“Yes well, that’s what you do for family. Honey, what’s going on with you?”

“Oh it’s nothing. Just a little holiday blues. I miss my folks and-“

“More like you’re missing a man, I think.”

Trying not to blush she stuffed the paper down in the bag and tied it. “Maybe a little.”

“You could have brought him here. I’m not so old that I don’t know you need some time with your man during the holidays.”

“It’s a little more complicated than that.”

Mary took the bag from her and deposited it next to the other one at the garage door, then took her hand and led her out the back door of the kitchen to the wrap-around porch. “Well then tell me all about it.”

She tucked her fingers into her sleeves and crossed her arms over her chest. “There’s not much to tell.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

She dropped into one of the wicker rockers that would forever be associated with the Bouchet porch and tucked her feet up, looping her arms around her knees. “I met a guy at the store. He’s really nice, if a little…well, unconventional.”

“Sounds interesting already,” Mary said and pulled another rocker up to sit in front of her. She rocked easily, more than eager to listen as she always did.

“My problem is that he’s a divorcee, with a lot of obligations.”

“Well, it’s good that he takes his obligations seriously, don’t you think?”

She twisted her fingers together tucking them into the warmth of her sweater sleeves until the cuffs overlapped. “Yes, one of the reasons I love him so much.”

“It’s love then?”

“Yeah, It’s definitely love.”

“Does he love you too?” Mary asked with a straight face, giving away nothing.

“I think so. He says he does.”

“Is he saying it to appease you?”

She thought about it for a moment. “No, I’m pretty sure he means it. But just because he loves me, doesn’t mean that’s enough.”

“Well, fairytales and romance movies certainly tell us otherwise, but you are right, honey. It’s all about the actions in the end. You have to do what’s best for you. Even if the questions are really tough. You have to ask yourself if he’s worth it.”

She tucked her nose into her knees and rocked a bit.

Mary stood and rubbed her shoulder a bit. “Don’t stay out here too long. And don’t over-think things. It’s our greatest fault as women sometimes. Sometimes you just have to take things on faith.”

~

Jon opened one eye to find a matching set staring at him with from the end of his bed.

“Dad! Is it time to get up for Christmas yet?”

Lifting his watch to blurry eyes he groaned. Six am. It was a record. It was usually five. “Is the sun up?”

Jake climbed up Jon and rolled over him to get off the bed. He padded to the window and a very faint, but obvious ray of sun was just starting to crest off the river. “Yup! You said we could have Christmas when the sun comes up!”

Romeo bounced on the bed, and no Serta Sleeper could combat an excited two year old. “Santa! Santa!”

“Okay,” he mumbled into the pillow and sat up. Scratching his bare chest he grabbed a tshirt off the chair and stumbled into the bathroom to brush his teeth. Wine and no sleep was not a good combo.

“C’mon Dad!” Jake leaned into the bathroom, impatience and excitement had him vibrating.

“I’m comin’. I’m comin’,” he said and scooted him back. Snatching Romeo off the bed on his way by he twisted him around to hang by his ankles.

A sleepy Stephanie shuffled out of her room wrapped in a bathrobe and fuzzy slippers. She wouldn’t meet Jon’s eyes as she mumbled, “Merry Christmas,” and headed down the stairs.

Biting back a sigh, he banged on Jesse’s door. “Wake up! Santa’s been here!”

Mussed brown hair and bleary eyes peeked from the crack in the door. “Go away. I’ll check out Santa later.”

“Nope!” Jon pushed the door wider and smirked at the twisted boxers and Ramones T-shirt his son wore for pajamas as he crawled back into his bed. “We got lots to do today.” Jon snatched his sheets and blanket back. “You can take a nap with your brother later.”

“Dad!”

“Up and at ‘em.”

Jon found Jake and Ava sitting by the tree with Richie yawning on the couch. His hair was just as much a train-wreck as his own. But the smile was there as he’d brought a few presents in from the car so Ava would have a few from him before they went to Grandma’s house.

Jon played Santa and handed out the packages. Jake got the Transformers, Jesse the simple blue paper, Romeo the Wiggles and Stephanie the polka dots and plaid. Remembering just barely Jon shot up and grabbed the camera from the entertainment console and snapped a few shots before the paper was shredded.

He caught Stephanie reverently tracing a finger over the polka dots before she carefully untied the ribbon. She’d recently shown an interest in color and pattern. She’d dragged out his Mom’s old sewing machine and started playing with fabric lately.

He turned the camera to Romeo the Tasmanian devil. He’d ripped through three boxes before finally slowing enough to look at the various toys he’d been given.

Jake was methodical, stacking his presents as he unwrapped them in the order of importance.

And Jesse already had his nose in the instruction manual to hook up the new game console he’d gotten.

He’d been unsure what to do for Ava and figured a little pair of earrings and Kate Spade purse would be…He laughed when Ava flung her arms around him and said, “Thank you! Thank you, Uncle Jon. It’s the perfect color!”

Glancing at Stephanie he winked at her. It had been her idea to do the purse thing and told him what color was Ava’s favorite. He hugged her back, “You’re welcome, honey.”

She tore though her father’s gifts until she came to the small one Richie held in the palm of his hand. “Merry Christmas, Baby.”

The box was from Tiffany’s and even a little girl of ten knew what that box was. She found a small locket on a long chain inside with a picture of her and Richie. Without an ounce of shyness she crawled right into her father’s lap. “Thank you Daddy,” she whispered and curled her arms around his neck.

Knowing that it was just what his best friend needed, he ushered the kids into the kitchen as Richie took some alone time to put the locket on Ava. Setting the kids up at the table with donuts and milk he put his hand on Steph’s shoulder. “Can we talk a minute?”

“Dad, can I –“

“Please?”

She crossed her arms and walked into the parlor. It was the formal room that they rarely used unless there was a party. A huge blue couch dominated the French décor. “Sit down,” he said easily.

She sunk into the couch and crossed her legs and arms. “What? Did Uncle Richie rat me out?” she asked defiantly.

“Well, eavesdropping isn’t right, Stephanie, you know that.”

“Yeah, you hear stuff you sooooo shouldn’t.”

“Ahhh, Sweetheart. Look, I wanted to tell you about Tessa, but your Mom feels that I should wait awhile before I introduce someone to you guys. It’s not a bad idea.”

“But that’s lying, and you said you wouldn’t lie to us.”

Jon’s stomach pitched. “You’re right in a way it is. But it’s really just to-“

“Don’t say protect us. I am so sick of that excuse, Dad.”

His molars clicked together. God, his little girl wasn’t a little girl anymore. He straightened his shoulders. “Do you tell me about every guy that you like?”

“What? No! Of course not. It might not…” she trailed off and let her hands fall to her lap.

“Work out?” When she just ducked her head, he continued. “Tessa and I have only been seeing each other for a…” Wow, not even two weeks he thought. How on earth could he love her like this after only a little over a week? But he did. God, he did. “A few weeks.”

“Do you like her?”

Holding his breath he looked into her eyes, “What do you think?”

She crossed her arms. “I think you look at her like you never looked at Mom,” she said quietly.

He moved into her and tugged her into a hug. “Oh, Steph. I’ve loved your Mom for…” he breathed a little easier as her arms came around his neck. “Well, for almost all of my life.” He pulled back and brushed the tears off her cheeks. “That’s never going to change. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but we just kinda didn’t fit together anymore after awhile.”

“And you fit with the bookstore lady?”

“I think so. I hope so,” he pressed a kiss to her forehead and held her. “I don’t know what’s going to happen yet and I didn’t want to confuse you guys. And that’s all that your Mom’s worried about too.”

Steph sniffed and pulled back. “So you aren’t going to tell the brats about her yet?”

“Your Mom is going to skin me alive because you know about Tessa.” He tucked her hair behind her ear, “Doesn’t make Mom a bad person, she just doesn’t want you guys hurt.”

Steph sighed, still not completely convinced. “Can I talk to Mom about this? Or should I keep it a secret?”

“No, no secrets. I would never ask you to do that. We’ll talk to your Mom today, okay?”

“Okay,” she said and stood.

Following her out into the kitchen he nodded to Richie and grabbed his cigarettes, and headed outside. God, he needed a smoke.