Chapter 131

Jon turned around, the grooves cutting deeper into his friend’s cheeks and eyes warned it wasn’t going to be good. God, they all looked like they’d aged a dozen years in as many hours. He turned back to Nic and kissed her cheek. “Why don’t you go check on the store and see what’s what. I had to break the door’s front window to get to her.”

“You did that?” Nic’s eyes widened. “I thought it was the paramedics and firemen.”

A quick flash of Tessa’s lifeless body twisted inside of him. “I’ll cover—“

“Don’t you even say it, Jon Bon Jovi!” Nic stepped into his arms and hugged him hard. “I’m just so glad you were there. God knows how long it would have been before someone found her.”

He pressed his nose into Nic’s comforting shoulder for a second longer then stepped away. “I should have been earlier. Then maybe…” he trailed off and gave her a smile. “Maybe a lot of things.”

Nic cupped his cheek. “She’s going to be fine. She’s the strongest woman I know, Jon. She has to be fine.”

Plastering a positive smile on his face he nodded. “You’re absolutely right. She just needs a little bit of time. Come back in a few hours and maybe she’ll be awake.” He watched her uncertain eyes and squeezed her hand. “Seriously, rest is the only thing that’s going to help her right now.”

She nodded. “All right, we’ll be back after we get something to eat.”

“Okay, good.” Breathing a sigh of relief he glanced at Richie, frowning when he didn’t even try to give him a fake smile. Man, what the fuck now?

“Do you want me to bring you something back?”

He shook his head, “Don’t worry about me, I’ll grab something down in the cafeteria.”

She wrinkled her nose. “We’ll bring you something.”

Sighing because agreeing was easier he nodded. “Thanks.”

“Richie talk some sense into him,” Nic said and melted back into Adam. “We’ll be back.”

Waving, Jon turned to Richie. “Am I going to need to punch something?”

“Might get arrested for assaulting a woman, Bro. Doesn’t exactly go with the image we’ve cultivated for 25 years.” He motioned for the relative privacy of the empty waiting room.

“Sweet fuck,” Jon muttered and followed Richie into the room and shut the door.

“I don’t know what kind of sources this chick has, but your favorite reporter’s got it all over the news that you busted into Chapters and Tessa’s in the hospital.”

Jon sank into the nearest chair, scrubbing his face with his hands. “Who’s my—“ he cut himself off and groaned. Charlotte. That was just great. “What’s the spin?” Dammit! For the first time in his life he didn’t even think about the press.

“Local press went with the hero angle.”

Jon rolled his eyes. “That’s just great,” he blew out a breath. “Christ, I need a cigarette, let’s head outside.” He opened the door heading for the stairs instead of the elevator. He needed to move. All the sitting and waiting, and now the shattered image of Tessa burned into his eyes he couldn’t sit still any longer.

Not even waiting to see if Richie was behind him, he punched the bar to open the door, flying down the stairs. Running away, fuckhead? He gritted his teeth heading for the exit instead of the lobby.

“Jon! Wait!” Richie’s long-legged stride caught up quickly. “You knew it was going to get out, man. They have their ways. For fuck’s sake you bashed in the window, people are going to talk.”

“I’m not worried about that.” He yanked the crushed pack of Marb’s out of his pocket and shook a cigarette free. With a quick snick of his lighter he sucked in a lungful of smoke. Holding it deep in his chest he slowly let it out. Leaning against the back of the building he let his head drop back against the stone wall. “I know that’s not all of it. You wouldn’t even mention it if it was just stupid hero shit.”

“No, you’re right.” Richie lit his own cigarette and settled beside him. “TMZ started spinning the hospital stay and who her doctor was.”

“What the fuck do we have confidentiality laws for if they can get the fucking info!” He shouted. He’d had to run through hoops to get info and all he had to do was what? Turn on the fucking TV? Flicking his butt away he blew out a stream of smoke. “Goddamn it!”

“They didn’t have any reliable info, but they had a doctor’s name and her specialty. It didn’t take a big leap, Jon. Not where the press is concerned. Put two and two together and you’re going to come up with a baby.”

He swore viciously and started pacing. With a grim frown at his cell he flipped it open and turned it on. As the phone buzzed and rang out its messages his anger blossomed. “Fucking fourteen messages and twelve text messages,” he muttered and closed it back up. “When was the first report?” he asked tiredly.

“You made the 8 o’clock news this morning on a local end, and it went from bad to worse by the noon-time broadcast.” Richie stubbed out his cigarette and pocketed his butt. “Look, you’re right, I didn’t bother you with the hero angle, but once TMZ and the tabloids started getting involved I figured it was time for a head’s up.” He sighed. “Dot’s called me four times.”

“I can’t worry about her feelings right now, Tessa is far more important than rumors.” He tipped his head back, blowing out a slow breath. “I fucked up so bad, Rich. I don’t know how she’s ever going to forgive me.”

Richie frowned. “Whattya mean?” He crossed his arms over his chest. “You’ve been there for her every inch of the way.”

“But I wasn’t.” He met Richie’s puzzled brown eyes. “I wasn’t there. I forgot that she was sick and look what happened? I got one of the best songs of my life recorded while the woman I love was literally bleeding out.” He snorted derisively. “No trite words there, she was literally fading away and I couldn’t pull back long enough to realize I hadn’t heard from her.”

Richie’s mouth opened to reply but Jon held up his hand. “There’s nothing you can say.”

“You couldn’t know that was going to happen?”

Jon turned to him. “You didn’t see her face when she was in that studio. She was almost ghost white with the pain, but all I could think about was getting back to work. She told me she was fine and I believed her.”

“Of course you did—“

He could see it again in his head, her brave face and the pain pinching her mouth. He shouldn’t have let her go. “No, I just wanted to believe her. I knew something was off. I just didn’t—“

“Fuck you, Jon.”

“What?” His eyes met Richie’s furious ones, shock freezing him.

“You aren’t fucking God, no matter how many control hang-ups you have.”

“I—“

“No, shut up. Now it’s my turn to talk. Good Christ, Jon! No one knew this was going to happen. Even Tessa herself didn’t think it was that serious. It was fate, bad timing and a whole slew of other natural things that happened. You didn’t do this, you can’t control this and you need to get your head out of your ass before you go back up there to that hospital room.”

He cracked the knuckles in his fingers one by one as he listened to him. It was his fault, everything was his fault. It had to be, the way she looked at him…he closed his eyes. He’d never seen her look so lifeless.

Richie’s hand gripped his shoulder hard, “Listen to me, Jonny.”

Jon opened his eyes, “I can’t.”

“Yes you can. She needs you right now, you the man not the guilt-ridden asshole. She needs you more than ever right this second. Didn’t you tell me once that she has no family, just Nic?”

Forcing deep oxygen rich breaths he fought back the panic. “Yes.”

“Fuckin’ man up!” Richie shouted at him.

Anger bubbled and foamed in his gut. “Fuck you,” he growled.

Richie shook him, gripping harder until Jon clenched his teeth in response. “That’s right, get mad. Maybe you’ll think again. You’re the only person I know that thinks better with anger and a challenge. Start fucking thinking. She’s all alone now and she needs you to stop acting like a child. The blame game is only going to hurt you and drive her away.”

He twisted away, slapping the wall with each hand as he stared at the grey face of the hospital.

“It sucks, Jon. Nothing about it is going to be easy for either of you. I’ll be here when you need to punch something, hell I’ll even be here when you need to be that selfish bastard on the blame game.”

Jon’s shoulders tightened as he leaned into the stone, the scratchy surface dug into his palms and his forehead as he fought to breathe.

Richie crowded in on him, his long fingers at the back of Jon’s neck as he spoke softly. “It’s what friends do. It’s what we do for one of our own. Tessa’s one of our own, now. If she wasn’t before…she sure is now.”

Jon nodded as the tears choked him. He growled through the pain. The look in her eyes when the doctor broke the news right there in front of him, haunting him.

“Make sure she knows that she has family. That’s all you can do, man.” Richie headbutted him lightly, his voice just as rough with the emotion. “I’m here for you. If you let your family in on this thing with Tessa they will be too.” Then he stepped back and sniffed hard. “I’m going to go make some calls.”

Jon couldn’t say anything, he just nodded and waited for Richie to walk away and when his footsteps faded he crashed. God, he couldn’t lose her. His fingertips dug harder into the stone as the pain blocked the madness that wanted to crawl out of his belly.

Richie was right. God help him, he had to set aside his guilt for now and focus on getting her better. Scrubbing the backs of his hands over the tears that had leaked free he opened the door and headed back upstairs.