Chapter 53

Tessa tossed her phone on the counter and propped herself up on the sink. She slowly raised her gaze to the mirror and just stared. “Idiot,” she muttered to her reflection. She rubbed her hand along the linen sleeve for a moment before she shrugged out of it and climbed into the shower.

She’s been an idiot to tell him she loved him. It had been impulse to say it and now all she wanted to do was snatch it back. She wasn’t an impulsive sort. She’d been planning every part of her life for the last sixteen years. This is what happened when you were careless.

Oh he’d been really sweet to her through breakfast, but she felt the difference. She could see his brain working to let her down easy.

He probably thought she was some freak that fell in love with the first person she slept with. Or…she pushed her hair back and ducked under the spray. She paused, and her heart began to slam out of her chest. He wouldn’t think it’s because of who he was would he? She closed her eyes and let the water beat down on her.

God, she was stupid! With more speed than grace she scrubbed her hair and her body and wrapped up in one of the oversized towels. She quickly dried her hair and tucked the longer strands behind her ears, leaving soft bangs to frame her eyes.

She took a deep breath, gathered all her toiletries and phone and opened the door. Jon was sprawled on the bed, still just wearing the jeans she’d left him in. He was on his side typing away on his laptop.

She leaned on the door jam for a moment, her nerves and fears fading as she watched him. He clicked around with the ease of a man who knew electronics and she couldn’t help but smile. “Pretty good on that laptop,” she said before she could stop herself.

He sat up and smiled. “Hey there,” he ducked his head and gave her a lopsided grin. “I don’t want to give away all my secrets. Then everyone would want me on the websites.”

She bent and tucked her cosmetics bag back into her overnighter. “Wouldn’t want that now would we?” Nerves and what was left of her dinner threatened to revolt. Christ! Get yourself together woman. She was an adult and playing like an adult required a little more sophistication than she had in her arsenal.

“Hell no, I do too much work on the computer who wants to play on it too?”

“About seventy percent of the population,” she said trying for an easy smile.

“If you saw all the emails I got daily you wouldn’t want to be on it either.” He shut the compact laptop and pushed it aside. He could see the change in her. Gone was the sexy siren that had him nearly on his knees at the doorway. This woman was soft and unsure of herself. He hated to know he caused that. “C’mere.”

Panic fluttered to life. “I need to get dressed. We have to go soon.”

“I keep tellin’ ya, I know a guy,” he said in a thick Jersey accent.

She laughed softly. “Just let me get some clothes on.”

“But I like you naked.”

Tessa rolled her eyes. “Yes, I do believe we’ve gone over that. But I really need-“

Jon slid off the bed and stood. In two strides he was surrounding her, his arms looped around her waist loosely. “You don’t need to get all nervous on me, Tessa. I don’t want that to ruin what we’ve got going here.”

Dammit, she knew she’d never be able to pull this off. What the hell was she thinking? “I just-“

He brought his lips to hers and shushed her. “Did you mean what you said?”

She kept her eyes closed; she could feel his gaze on her waiting for an answer. Her heart thudded against her chest loud enough that she was positive he could hear it. Opening her eyes, she met his intense blue stare. “I did and I do still,” she smiled ruefully. “Even if I want to rewind the last hour and take those words back so you’ll stop looking at me like that.”

He felt the kick of disappointment. “You wish you hadn’t said it?”

She pulled away and turned. “It was wrong to lay that on you.”

He turned her back. “Why is it wrong?” God, he’d never understand women.

She pushed her bangs out of her face and huffed. “It’s too soon. I don’t even know you, not really. I know how to touch you, I know how to laugh with you but-“ She drilled her fingers through her hair.

“What the hell was I thinking saying that I love you?” Her gaze bounced off his face and the confusion she found there left her feeling lost. “And how can you not think I’m insane?”

His knees nearly buckled at the words, face to face. He gripped her arms and stilled her nervous gestures. “Tessa.”

“I mean God, you can’t wait to get away from me, I’m sure,” she said to his neck, unwilling to look at him now.

“Tessa-“

“For the love of George I’m a sane woman! I get within ten feet of you and I turn into this idiot. I’m a business woman for God’s sake. I-“

“Tessa!”

She closed her eyes and shut up, still unable to meet his eyes.

“Look at me,” Jon said firmly.

Her jaw clicked shut but she still wouldn’t open her eyes. She couldn’t stand to see the pity that would be on his face. He was going to be kind to her and then just toddle her off like any of the other women that came and went.

He shook her, frustration lacing his voice this time. “Tessa look at me, please.”

She opened her eyes and looked over his shoulder. His hands came up to cup her face and brought her attention to his face, his eyes. “I feel it too.”

Surprise overrode the fear. “What?”

“I don’t throw the words around easily. Dammit, I wanted to tell you yesterday, but I thought you’d think I was crazy.”

She gripped his wrists, confusion and panic churned through her. “No...you don’t have to-“

His thumb traced the crest of her cheek, holding her firm. “All it takes is a moment, Tessa. And I’m telling you right here, I’m not an easy man to love. But, that being said…I want to make us work.”

“I-“ She didn’t know what to say. She searched his eyes and saw the sureness of it in his steady gaze.

He brought his lips to hers, just a breath away, “I love you.” The kiss was sweet and undemanding and when he pulled away he said it again. “Believe it. Believe me…” he said softly and kissed her again.

She felt the tears burning but refused to let them fall. She burrowed deep and wrapped her arms around his neck and held on. His hands slid down her back and gathered her closer as the tension faded.

Jon pulled back first, kissing her on the forehead before he looked down at her. “So, are we okay now?”

Tessa shook her head, still not sure what to say. She hiked her towel and tucked it tighter. “I guess I should get dressed,” she said with her voice still husky with emotion. She cleared her throat. “Even the boss needs to get on the plane eventually.”

Jon laughed and let his hand drift down over her shoulder and down to her hand. He laced their fingers for a moment, tugging her back to him. “I’m still not sure how things are going to work at home.” He pressed a lingering kiss along her throat.

Tessa lifted her shoulders and wiggled away when his stubbly chin tickled. He pulled her back and turned her so he could rest his chin on her shoulder. The now familiar scent of pears soothed the jittering nerves in his belly. It had been a very long time since he’d said ‘I love you’ to someone other than his kids.

“I feel like we’ve been living in our own little bubble here,” she said and pressed her cheek to his. “I don’t want to leave. Reality sucks.”

He laughed, snaking his hand into her towel. “We don’t need to bother with reality just yet, do we?”

Tessa turned and laughed when her towel landed at her feet.